This really happened.

Being a college student, I stay up late doing random crap. Like last night. I was up until about 2 a.m. drawing random stuff I thought of to put on this blog some day. I finally got to sleep, but that didn't last long.

First of all, let me just lay out a floor plan of my dorm room.

So, as you can see, my bed is literally right next to the door. This floor plan is generous and has a space between everything, but in reality, most things overlap. Like the door. When it's open, you can't see my bed because the door completely blocks it. That has led to a lot of funny stories on its own, but those are for other posts.

Anyway, it was about 2:45 in the morning. I had been asleep for maybe half an hour. All of a sudden I heard some knocking on the door. Not like, "LET ME IN BITCHES" kinda knocking, just quiet knocking.

Seeing as how I just woke up, I naturally had an answer for everything.

I pride myself in my half-asleep comments being somewhat intelligible. I thought that, perhaps the combination of A/C and oscillating fans in our room was causing the door to shake a little and it made little tapping noises. Seemed pretty legit. So I rolled over and tried to go back to sleep.

But the knocking just kept getting louder.

Since my oscillating fan theory had just been debunked, I began forming a list of possible causes of the knocking and jiggling of the door handle. I started with least likely and worked up: 3) it could be a drunken idiot on our floor. 2) Serial rapist. 1) The hall monster.

In retrospect, I maybe shouldn't have made the quantum leap from drunken stranger to serial rapist, and I should not have been so nonchalant about the serial rapist either. No, what freaked me out the most was the hall monster, a demonic beast that feasts on the souls of chubby college boys whose beds are too close to the door. That terrified me. So I lied in bed for a few more minutes, trying to drown out the sound of the knocking. Then I thought, "Well shit. Maybe I'm dreaming." But just as soon as that thought came into my mind, the hall monster unleashed a fit of panicked knocking and door handle jiggling. I wanted to cry. Soon, roommate #1 (with his flowing golden locks) got up to see what it was.

He looked through the little peep-hole in our door and said, "It's roommate #2!" and opened the door.

Sure enough. There was roommate #2, clad only in his boxer briefs, standing in a daze out in the hall. He came inside and got back into his bed and the terrible knocking stopped. I finally got to sleep about an hour later, visions of the hall monster still dancing around in my head; he was pissed that he didn't get to devour my soul last night so he's building up his powers to try again twice as hard tonight.

Probably.

But anyway. As soon as I woke up this morning, I thought about what happened last night. And that it did, in fact, really happen. I asked roommate #2 about why he was out in the hall in his underwear at 3 a.m., because he was already asleep in his bed when I went to sleep. He said he didn't know, and after further ponderment (is that a word?) decided he sleepwalked out there. He had no recollection of getting out of bed and walking out into the hall in just his boxers.

College is interesting.