Why I hate riding the elevator with more than 2 other people.

I live on the 13th floor of my dorm. Sometimes, when I'm home alone, I like to stand in the window and flip people off, because if you are staring into the 13th floor window of someone else's dorm, you deserve it! 

It's nice living on the 13th floor, but sometimes it sucks trying to get up to my room. One time, I tried taking the stairs.

So my options are pretty much elevator, or sleep on a bench out in the little courtyard thing. The elevator in my hall is a pretty average elevator. It's kinda small, maybe 7' wide by 4' deep. This is an ideal situation for 2-3 people.

First of all, I feel like I need to give you some background information on myself. I'm a giant. Like, a for-realsies, 6' 8" fucking HUGE guy. So this tiny little elevator is perfect when I'm all alone. And I don't mind sharing it with maybe 2 other people. But any more and I get a little claustrophobic and feel like I'm all up in everyone else's grill and it's unpleasant.

So the other day, I was going down to eat dinner or spray paint a cat on the side of a bus or something. The elevator finally came to my floor. Whenever it comes to my floor, I usually am standing there, totally alert to the sounds and aura coming from the elevator before it stops to make sure it's relatively empty. If it sounds packed, I just slink around the corner and wait for the next one like some kind of ninja. But this particular day, I was more wrapped up than usual in a game of solitaire on my phone to notice. So as soon as the door opened, I was standing there like an idiot for everyone on board to see. No ninja slinking away this time...

Everyone looked just as unenthused as I felt. So I couldn't say no, I felt bad denying their gracious offer to let me come with them. Besides, there was just enough room for one more person and I was really hungry/itching to spray paint that cat, so I just got on and let it happen. I felt like such a jerk. As I mentioned before, I'm on the bigger side of things. So I felt like I was all over everyone and I was fairly sure that if someone tried to touch me I would cry, or if someone breathed at me I might kick them in the face or something.

So we went down a few floors, me standing awkwardly at the front of the elevator, my face practically up against the door, complete and utter silence. We stopped at the 7th floor and the guy in the back corner quietly said that this was where he needed to get off. So, being the big oaf in front of the door, I felt terrible.

So I stood weirdly in the entryway of the elevator, as if to say, "Fear not, normal sized human, I will prevent this door from closing on you in the 2 seconds you will be walking out! I'll protect you with all of me!" Only I didn't say that, and it looked more awkwardly pathetic than it did brave. The next 6 floors were brutal torture in the silent, now really tense elevator. I was still perched a mere inches from the door even though everyone else had filled in the empty spaces and gotten more comfortable. I was almost too mortified to move when the elevator opened at the first floor and we all got out.

And that's why I hate riding the elevator with more than 2 other people.